On Lashon Hara
and the Surgeon General’s Warning
I think every
parent was a little relieved to hear the surgeon general of the United States
recommend that a warning label be posted on social media. Just like we have
warning labels on cigarettes and warning labels on alcohol ads, we need warning
labels for parents to know that they should keep their kids off social media as
much as they can.
We see it as a
plague on youngsters today. Easy access to social media has led to on line bullying and shaming. Even in supposedly solid Beverly Hills, a Middle
School a student shared a photo-shopped image of a classmate in a very
compromising position that had never happened, and the damage was done.
So I can
envision a whole series of warning labels coming out now:
. (Wikimedia commons).
Yes get rid of
these nonsensical video shorts which are the only way our young people are
getting the news now.
I saw someone
beat me to the punch with Tik Tok, so I decided to get creative:
Yes, Instagram-
images of whatever that no one wants to see.
The other major source of , I can’t believe it,
official government notifications, all reduced to 280 characters!?
So, let’s see
how far back our Jewish tradition has dealt with such loose bombardment of truths,and more often,
half-truths, worse than outright lies.
I can claim
that the origin of the “ Tweet” is Biblical: Eccelsiastes 10:20:
גַּ֣ם בְּמַדָּֽעֲךָ֗ מֶ֚לֶךְ אַל־תְּקַלֵּ֔ל וּבְחַדְרֵי֙
מִשְׁכָּ֣בְךָ֔ אַל־תְּקַלֵּ֖ל עָשִׁ֑יר כִּ֣י ע֤וֹף הַשָּׁמַ֙יִם֙ יוֹלִ֣יךְ
אֶת־הַקּ֔וֹל וּבַ֥עַל (הכנפים) [כְּנָפַ֖יִם] יַגֵּ֥יד דָּבָֽר׃
Don’t revile a king even among your intimates.
Don’t revile a rich man even in your bedchamber;
For a bird of the air may
carry the utterance,
And a winged creature may report the word.
There you
go—the first instance of Twitter in history. Maybe that’s why Musk preferred
“X”.
Of course, it
is clear, that the danger from loose
talk, ill talk of others, is not a Jewish or modern problem. You all had to learn
Othello at some point, and there is that famous line, by Iago:
“ Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands: But he that filches from
me my good name Robs me of that which not enriches him And makes me poor
indeed.”
Iago, the
master villain, who kills by destroying the good people by slander, is the one
who teaches us the virtue of a Good Name.!
The very end of
our Torah portion this week, Behaalotekha, as interpreted by our sages, brings
us to this very topic.
Story of
Miriam-Numbers 12,
Miriam and
Aaron spoke against [Note: “Against” is an
interpretation, not a literal translation] Moses because of the Cushite woman
he had taken: “He took a Cushite woman!”
They said, “Has
יהוה spoken only through Moses? Has [God] not
spoken through us as well?” יהוה heard it.
We note that
Miriam here is taking the lead, not Aaron, who we know is not the confrontationist.
Moses is meek,
so God rises to his defense, and Miriam is struck with leprosy.
We understand, from Rabbinic interpretations,
that leprosy is punishment for “ Meztora”-“ Motzi Shem Ra”, speaking evil about
someone. In this same vein, the Rabbis understand, in our next portion, that the
twelve spies bad mouth the land of
Israel. That’s what we call “ Lashon Hara”, Bad Language.
Here are some
of our sources, which the Surgeon General is free to borrow for his
warning label:
Lo telech rachil
be amcha--Lev 19:16
Thou shalt not
go up and down as a talebearer among thy people. Rachil-rechilut-gossip. Just as a peddlar ( Rochel) peddles his wares from
one to another, so the slander “ goes peddling” his merchandise of slander. Or,
as Rashi explains- Rachil is from spying
(Meragel) upon one’s neighbor to find a flaw.
We have another
perspective, from the Talmud, about the dangers of “ loose lips”.
(Arakhin 15b:22
) On the phrase” Be-Yad Halashon”- In the power of the word, but literally,
“in the hand of the tongue”.
The danger of
bearing evil news, even if true, with ill intention, is derived from the story
of Saul who destroys the entire city of Nob, because the inhabitants had given
shelter to David, his enemy:
The discussion
refers to a phrase “ Triple”, like a Triad or a Three-some, in regards to
tale-bearing:
Jerusalem
Talmud Peah 1:1:47
Why is it called “triple?” Because it kills three: The one who says
it, the one who accepts it, and the one calumniated. And in the days of Saul,
four were killed: Doeg who said it [he reported that the priests at Nob
protected David] , Saul who accepted it [ and executed the people as a result
and eventually died himself], Aḥimelekh who was calumniated[ the priest who
sheltered David and was killed], and Abner. Why was Abner killed? …The rabbis
say, because he did not let Shaul make peace with David. [In other words, he
could have ended Saul’s enmity and prevented the greater tragedy.] But some
say, because he had it in his power to intervene for Nob, the city of priests,
and he did not intervene.”
Is it then any
wonder that three times a day, we add in our Amidah prayer:…
אֱלֹהַי נְצוֹר לְשׁוֹנִי מֵרָע וּשְׂפָתַי מִדַּבֵּר מִרְמָה.
My God, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking
deceitfully.
This is a phrase taken directly from Psalms:34:14
Which raises
the question, How do we gain life?
מִֽי־הָ֭אִישׁ הֶחָפֵ֣ץ חַיִּ֑ים אֹהֵ֥ב יָ֝מִ֗ים לִרְא֥וֹת טֽוֹב׃
Who is the man who is eager for life,
who desires years of good fortune?
And the answer
is:
נְצֹ֣ר לְשׁוֹנְךָ֣ מֵרָ֑ע וּ֝שְׂפָתֶ֗יךָ מִדַּבֵּ֥ר מִרְמָֽה׃
Guard your tongue from evil,
your lips from deceitful speech.
For your inspiration, I am putting here a very
popular rendition of this Psalm:
https://youtu.be/3YH4W5j1icM?si=atBhvIcvKdMteiie
This leads me to one of the great Sages of modern
Jewish teachings, the Rabbi who adopted these verses as the title of his book,
and in turn became known by that title:
The Sefer Chofetz Chaim is a book
by Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, who is also called "the Chofetz Chaim" after it. The
book deals with the Jewish laws of speech.
Yisrael Meir
ha-Kohen Kagan (January 26, 1838 – September 15, 1933) was an
influential Lithuanian Jewish rabbi, Halakhist, posek, and ethicist whose works continue to be
widely influential in Orthodox Jewish life.
By all
accounts, he was a modest and humble man, faithfully devoted to his Jewish
faith. For a while, he had a shop selling household provisions, which he and
his wife managed.
During his
lifetime, Kagan was venerated by Jews and non-Jews alike.
So, I have put
here a sampler of his words of advice:
Silverstein translation http://www.sefaria.org/shraga-silverstein
Selected items:
…And if we carefully searched our ways — which of the sins have
primarily caused the length of our exile? — we would find them to be many; but
the sin of lashon hara above all, for several reasons. First, for it was the
major cause of our exile …. This being so, as long as we do not undertake to
correct this sin, how can there be a redemption, the sin being so severe as to
have caused us to be exiled from our land!
Introduction to
the Laws of the Prohibition of Lashon Hara and Rechilut
Negative Commandments
One who bears tales against his friend transgresses a negative
commandment, viz. (Vayikra 19:16): "Do not go talebearing among your
people." What is talebearing? "Loading oneself" with words and
going from one to another, saying: "This is what ploni [so and so] said
about you"; "This and this is what I heard ploni did to you." …
And there is a sin much greater than this — lashon hara, which is included in
this negative commandment. And that is speaking disparagingly of one's friend,
even if what is said is true. But one who speaks falsely [about his friend] is
referred to as a "motzi shem ra" [one who spreads an evil report].
[ Don’t post it
on Facebook or Instagram or Tik Tok in the first place]
And the speaker or the receiver [of lashon hara] also transgresses
(Shemoth 23:1): "Do not receive [tissa] a false report," which can
also be read as: "Do not spread [tassi] a false report," so that this
negative commandment includes both [the speaker and the receiver].
[Don’t open the
post you got, and if you do get one, don’t retweet or repost or click “like”]
*****
Positive
Commandments
And he [the speaker of lashon hara] also transgresses (Vayikra
19:18): "And you shall love your neighbor as yourself," whereby we
have been commanded to be as solicitous for our friend's money as we are for
our own, and to be solicitous of his honor, and to speak in his praise, as we
are solicitous for our own honor.
And if through his lashon hara or rechiluth he lowers his friend so
that he loses his livelihood as a result, as when through evil-heartedness he
publicizes his friend as being dishonest, or, if he is a worker, as being unfit
for his work, or the like, he also transgresses (Vayikra 25:35): "And if
your brother grows poor and his hand falls with you, then you shall uphold him
[even if he be], proselyte or sojourner; and he shall live with you." And
(Ibid 16): "And your brother shall live with you,"…. How much more so
are we commanded not to cause him to lose his livelihood!
[Remember, it
all shows up when the boss interviews your neighbor for a job!]
******
Seif 5
There is no difference in the issur of speaking [lashon hara], as
to whether one speaks it of his own volition or whether his friend stands over
him and begs him to tell him — in either case, it is forbidden. And even if his
father or his Rabbi — whom he is obligated to honor and to fear and not to
contradict their words — even if they importune him to speak of a certain
thing, and he knows that in the midst of the account he will perforce come to
speak lashon hara or even only the "dust" of lashon hara, he is
forbidden to consent.
This issur of
lashon hara obtains whether it is actually spoken by mouth or stated in a
letter [ That would include a false Tweet!] . There is also no difference whether he
speaks it explicitly or by sign.[ No Emogis and GIFs!] In all modes, it is in
the category of lashon hara.
Seif 9
And know also that even if in demeaning his friend he demeaned
himself with the very same slur — even if he began by railing thus against
himself, he has nevertheless not left the ranks of the slanderers.
Seif 8
There is no difference in the language of the exhortation, whether
he exhorted them not to mention the subject at all anymore, or whether he said
to them, "Let none of this be made known by you" — in all modes, it
is forbidden to reveal the demeaning of another, even to a different person;
how much more so to the person demeaned himself. For if it is revealed to
another, in the end it will become known to all, and even to him [the person
demeaned] through the channels of "Your friend has a friend, etc."
And, therefore, one must take great heed, even if a man is known to
have had a certain fault in his youth, but from then until now he has been
conducting himself correctly; or if it is known about his forbears that they
did not conduct themselves correctly at all, but he does not hold on to their
ways, and all such things, where, in truth, he is not open to aspersion, it is
forbidden to demean him or to shame him before his friends because of this
[early fault]. [ Don’t go searching on Google for someone’s dirty past!]
Seif 12
That is, when someone lectures in the house of
study it is forbidden according to the din to mock him and to say that there is
nothing to his lectures and there is nothing to hear. And in our many sins we
see many people to be remiss in this, not considering this mockery as an issur
at all. But according to the din it is absolute lashon hara. For through such
speech it often happens that he causes monetary loss to his friend, and,
sometimes, pain and shame, too
[ Don’t knock your professor-or the Rabbi-no
matter how boring the lecture is!]
Seif 13
If one revealed
to his friend, in the presence of three, details of his occupation or trade or
the like, things which, in general, are otherwise forbidden to repeat
afterwards to another, lest this result in injury or pain to him — now, since
he himself revealed it in the presence of three, it is evident that this is of
no concern to him, even if it comes to be known in the end. Therefore, the one
who hears it from him is permitted ab initio to reveal it to others, so long as
he [the teller] does not make it clear that he is opposed to his doing so. [ In
today’s terms, if you were not made to sign an NDA-non-disclosure agreement,
you may share trade secrets, as they are
no longer secret].
*********
If one wishes
to bring his friend into his affairs, such as to hire him for his work or to go
into partnership with him or to make a match with him, and the like, even if
until now he has heard nothing negative about him, still, it is permitted to
make inquiries of people as to his character and his dealings. Even though they
may tell him something negative about him, still it is permitted, since his
intent is for his own good alone, so that he will not come afterwards to injury
or to strife or to contention and desecration of the Name, G–d forbid. But it
appears to me that he must apprise the one he is making inquiry of, that he
wishes to make a match with him [the one he is inquiring about] or enter some
kind of partnership, as mentioned above. [ Therefore, I may do a background
check on a job applicant, as long as that is
known and agreed to. This is a legitimate action for self-protection.]
*****************
And know that
just as it is forbidden to slander one's friend, so is it forbidden to
"slander" his possessions (see Rabbeinu Eliezer Mimitz in Sefer
Yere'im). And it is very common, in our many sins, that one shopkeeper slanders
the wares of another (and so, in other instances of the same kind), out of
envy. And this is absolute lashon hara according to the Torah. [ A form of
truth in advertising]
So, you now have
the warning label on your smartphone or computer- from the Surgeon General, and
Rabbi Weinberg, to the great ethical authority, the Chofetz Chayim. You can
also throw away your newspaper Tabloids, and have a much better life!
